Day one of my new life!

Yesterday, I turned 43 years old. My goal for my 40th birthday had been to get down to my goal weight of 110-115lbs. Three years later, that hasn't happened. I'm getting tired of just waiting for the weight to fall off and the reality of the hard work and constant dedication that this is going to require is hitting me in the face. I so desperately want this and know how much better I will feel about myself when I accomplish my weight loss goal, but what is it going to take to motivate me?

I had been thin all through HS and college. In fact, in college, I was taking a full load of classes and working 2-3 part time jobs. I was a very thin 106 lbs. Since I'm only 5'1'', that weight looked great on me. Once I started my Medical Technology program at Southwest General Hosp., for a year all I did was eat, sleep, and study. The weight slowy crept on. When I got married in 1991, I weighed 120 lbs. Still not a bad weight but more than I would have liked. Then I started having babies. It took me one year to lose the baby weight after kid #1, then I got pregnant again. It took me another 1 1/2 years to lose the wieght from baby #2, then I got I got pregnant again. By then, I was a stay at home mom running round after kids and taking care of everyone but myself. I tried off and on to lose weight without any real success.

Finally, after 5 years off on again-off again dieting/exercise, I got serious. I found two workout buddies and started going to the rec center 2-3 times/week plus working out at home. I started running and was up to 4 miles in 45 minutes. After a year, I was in awesome shape. I was down to 120 pounds again and looked fantastic. However, I had reached a plateau and couldn't lose the last 5 no matter what I did. During this time, my marriage started to fall apart and during the breakup of my marriage, I went on the "divorce diet" and stopped eating and sleeping very much. I got down to 116 pounds and felt great.

Then, I went back to work and stopped exercising, was happy and in love and guess what? I started the inevitable weight gain. I could absolutely kick myself for letting that happen. After all that hard work to just let it slip away like that kills me! Last year I reached my highest weight ever of 158 lbs.!! I was huge! Rich and I started to gradually purchase workout equipment for the basement and we both started working out and eating better. I was able to lose about 16lbs. Now I'm getting lazy again.

My job is extremely demanding and it wears me out. This is just one of many excused I've used for why I haven't gotten back in shape. I am getting married in 60 short days. I desperately wanted to be down to 120 lbs by then. That is not going to happen. I would love to just lose as much as I possibly can so I can feel good about myself and how I look for my wedding day, and thereafter as well.

Many people don't realize that any diet and exercise program doesn't start in the gym. It starts in your head. You have to be emotionally and mentally programmed for weight loss. This is no time for negativity. You have to prepare yourself mentally before any physical routine begins. Thus, the reason for this blog. I know in my heart I can do this. I have proven it before. I have to have confidence in my strength and my spirit that I am worth it.

Thank you for coming with me on this journey.